Don’t bash the ‘stache

My wife suggested that I answer questions that some readers may have about cops and police work. I agreed and she has been soliciting questions from her friends for me. As a result of the response she’s gotten, I decided to incorporate a ‘Question of the Day’ feature on my blog. But I really don’t want to answer a question every day, and I’m full of shit if I think I’m going to have something thought provocative to write about every day. As I’ve stated before, this writing business is not easy. So, here’s the first entry in the ‘Question of the day cause I ain’t got shit to write about’ series. Maybe someone can come up with an acronym for me for the title of this feature.

This is the actual question. It’s really three questions in one but WTF:

Does he have a mustache? WTF is up with cops and mustaches?? Is that a requirement or something?

Does who have a mustache? My wife clarified that the reader is referring to me. I currently don’t sport a mustache but at one time I did. I shaved it off when people told me that it made me look like a Puerto Rican (which by the way I am). As far as I know, mustaches are not required accessories for cops. Most Police Departments do have guidelines in regards to personal grooming, e.g. the mustache cannot exceed the corners of your mouth. I wish they had guidelines for personal hygiene. I have ridden around in RMPs (Squad Cars) with some stinky cops. Good cops, but stinky nevertheless. As to WTF is up with cops and mustaches, I really don’t know but I’ll make a few guesses. I think some cops believe that it makes them look meaner and tougher, especially the ‘baby faced’ younger cops who are afraid of not being taken seriously cause they look like they’re 15 years old. And for those ‘baby faced’ cops, facial hair grows at a snail’s pace. Other than that I don’t know. Maybe for some cops, mustaches are like makeup for a really ugly woman and they think it hides the ugliness.

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5 responses to “Don’t bash the ‘stache

  1. Jello of Life

    I’m intimidated by the gun and the uniform. I wouldn’t even notice the babyface, but I can’t ignore Tom Selleck when I see him.

  2. Jello of Life

    I’m cool with Tom, indifferent on those who are mustachioed. Hitler has a horrible one, Chaplin has a great one – and they’re identical. I guess I’m simply not a fan of recalling both hilarity and holocausty things as I’m explaining why I was driving 37 in a school zone.

  3. School zones and passing stopped school buses, not a good thing.

  4. Having dealt with many cops, and having had friends & loved ones be abused by police, and having had a few good experiences w/cops, my take on cops & moustaches is as follows:
    – some guys become cops to beat people up. They are bullies & douches & now are legally allowed. These guys wear ‘staches to hide the joy of smashing in someone’s face.
    – cop culture is a ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ male dominated thing. Either wear the uniform or don’t play.
    – cops want to seem manly & authoritative, so they grow something to look more grown up, and guns and kinky leather stuff. (IMO the outfit is very gay/S&M oriented, but that’s probably some of the psychology there too).
    – cops are known as ‘the man’, ie ‘gotta hide from the man’, and they are taking society’s projections.
    – they are trying to look smarter (but have failed).
    – they are trying to look older (but have failed).
    – they are trying to look tougher (but have failed).
    – cops don’t show much expression so this is a chance.
    – Last point (& great way to end) perhaps some are overcompensating (yet again) for their small billy-clubs; besides wearing macho uniforms, thinking they are heroes saving the world from the bad-guys, carrying guns/tasers/pepper spray, and riding motorcycles for a living. Besides the small dick thing, which most white men have (probably bc they truly don’t measure up on average to other ethnic groups), the superhero concept is there & the authentic desire to serve the community & help the old lady — but this caricature breaks down fast when they’ve accidentally shot the grand-kid bc they thought that little kid had a gun (happens more in LA & Oakland than most places).
    – I have nothing against cops, as I said, except for being beat up, having friends & loved ones beaten, being harassed, threatened, picking up loved ones in jail for minor accusations, and of course — all the moving violations.

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