Coffee and Donuts: Gentrified Food Carts, DSK

Last night was the first night that I spent alone in our summer house with the scary Indian. Well I really wasn’t alone the entire night. My friend Thomas and I sat around talking and catching up on life until about 4 in the morning. It had been a very long day and the 3-4 Jim Beams on the rocks went straight to my head. Needless to say, I passed out immediately upon hitting the bed. I wouldn’t have even have known if the Indian had crawled into the bed and cuddled with me.

Outlaws Make Better Lunches

Leave it to New York City to not only gentrify neighborhoods, but now to gentrify food trucks. What in the word is a high-end food truck? Is that where a hot dog and a soda cost you ten bucks? And now you have the cops chasing away all of food carts because the restaurants are complaining. In a city where crime is on the upswing, you would think that the cops would have more serious issues to deal with.

How Can the Asylum System Be Fixed

Only in America can the ‘credibility’ of a Guinean hotel maid have such far reaching ramifications. Not only did she bring DSK, the “great seducer”, one of the most powerful men in the world to his knees with her accusations of rape, (that’s literally and figuratively, if that so called consensual sex that they had was so good that it made made him weak in the legs), it now looks as if she has brought focus onto an asylum system that is in need of repair. That certainly is important in light of recent events. We have to prevent refugees from being granted asylum to the United States through fraudulent means. Next thing you know, they will be accusing rich and powerful men of committing all types of crimes.

I have just one question for you. If DSK and the now infamous maid did in fact have consensual sex, then why did he resign as the head of the IMF and sabotage his chances for the French presidency. He is known as the “great seducer”, isn’t he? And it seems that the French were okay with this, weren’t they? So okay with it that he was just about a shoo-in for the presidency? So why the resignation if all he did was have consensual sex with a hotel maid? I have a theory that is within my axiom of “if it looks and smells like shit, then it probably is shit.”

To my French comrades, and those that wish they were French, Au Revoir!

France’s Bruni Confirms Pregnancy

When France’s First Lady was questioned as to why she has been so secretive about her pregnancy, she stated, “First in order to protect myself, to avoid having to expose my personal life. It’s a great joy for me, but one that is fairly banal after all.”

I think that the real reason for all of the secrecy is that they were awaiting DNA results – the DNA results that eliminated DSK as the father. I’m only kidding…or am I?


2 responses to “Coffee and Donuts: Gentrified Food Carts, DSK

  1. You haven’t spooned until you’ve spooned with a wooden Indian, or so I’ve heard.

  2. I think I’ll take him upstairs with me tonight and give it a try.

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